Breakdown

So starting with my Thursday hair chopping (it's gone, the long, flowing,, shedding locks are gone), which was (I thought) thoroughly considered and thought out for months now, so it couldn't have been a result of my following breakdown. So I was sad, I have no hair, I look like a boy, my darling nieces and nephews and friends' kids are way too honest with their words and looks, but trying to be sweet because they know that it really looked better before and know how long it will take to grow out again. Then I went to bed and woke up too early on Saturday (fun bike ride, totally worth it) but got really grumpy with lots of fun activities (Home Depot for making art boxes with the kids, etc.) by the late afternoon when we discovered O had left his backpack which contained his bather and whatnot at Home Depot, I was looking for trouble. And most of you know me, I need my sleep, and when I am grumpy, I HAVE HAD IT. On top of this I had found some old junk in the garage and was reading through an old journal, mostly during our trip to Spain (yeah, go Sister Cici) but then our experience in Casper, Wyoming. Wow, was I ever depressed. Poor sweet H, he was the happiest little critter, while I wallowed in bed while a world of drabness and a husband that was on the road 85% of the work week was gone. But what depressed me today was how I was all upset that I weighed still 10 pounds more than pre-preg, which today is 20 pounds more! So I got in my bather and headed over to Kate's to dive in to the very invigorating waters. Sunday was all good, except I had made a big boo-boo with my sister, who will remain nameless, and whose wrath is not cool (sisters attest). I think we are all good now.?. Also, I have issues with finance, my husband's employment, and more. Kids are totally chill and fabulous. So I am so grateful for friends. It seems when I hit my low this week (Monday morning), my friends were calling me. Mostly out of the blue, and some because we were to do planned things this week. I wasn't answering or returning calls, but I acknowledged that I needed to know and feel of their love and comfort and friendships. So poor darling Hill, who I finally connected with, got a full-unleashed unloading of my stuff. Then I talked to Villi yesterday and I let her know I was having a 1/3 life crisis and she replied well, of course, you are post-partum! Okay yes! I love being able to pin-point er blame my sorrows on something, it really made me feel much better. And I realized today that I kind of hit a wall while trying to entertain my kids in these last days of summer. It's really working for them, they are happy and crashing to bed early (O at 6pm snuck off to la-la land!) I just wanted to bring it all down to reality for y'all. I'll tell you about the fun we had this week (hint it involves some bikes, a pool, rock climbing, a park or two, a few babysitters, and the cookies & pizza that O & JR made). No wonder I am crazy right?